At nine, Obanye Francess survived a devastating acid attack meant for her brother, an act of violence that altered the course of her childhood. In this conversation with TEMITOPE ADETUNJI, she shares her journey of pain, resilience, and the strength it took to keep going with a deformed face
Can you take us through your childhood before the incident that changed your life?
I am from Anambra State. I grew up in a large extended family living in a family house with my father, his brothers, and their families. Although we lived together, each family had separate rooms. I studied Biochemistry at Anambra State University. I am the last child in a family of five.
What actually led to the acid attack?
I remember everything clearly, even though I was nine years old at the time. It happened on November 17, 2004. We lived in a family house where there were constant conflicts between my father and his brothers and their families. There were frequent arguments and threats.
One day, they threatened my parents, saying they would deal with them, but my parents did not take it as seriously as they should have.
At the time, my father was working in Enugu and was not always home. It was mostly my mother, my siblings, and me.
The night before the incident, I slept in my grandmother’s room instead of my mother’s. That morning, my mother woke up early as usual to prepare for the day.
In our house, the kitchen and bathroom were outside, and the rooms were connected by a corridor.
While my mother stepped out, my uncle’s wife, who had been part of the family conflict, came with a bucket of acid. Her target was my brother, the only son. She later claimed she mistook me for him.
Unfortunately, I was the one in the room. I was dressed like my brother, and she assumed I was him.
She entered the room where I was sleeping with my grandmother and poured acid on both of us. My grandmother was affected at the back of her head, but I took the brunt of it.
When I started screaming, my mother tried to rush in, but the woman locked the door after the attack and fled.
Why were you sleeping in your grandmother’s room?
My mother had slept in her room with my sister, who had just returned from school. They were talking about her university experience, so I was asked to sleep in my grandmother’s room that night.
Were you taken to the hospital?
Yes. The doctors did what they could, but my face had already been badly affected.
Was the attacker arrested?
No. She ran away immediately after the incident, and I have not seen her since.
There was a court case, but it became too exhausting for my parents because of the financial and emotional strain, and eventually, nothing came out of it.
What was returning to school like?
It was very difficult. I spent over a year in the hospital. When I returned to school, my classmates were scared. Some screamed and ran away from me. It made me feel like I didn’t belong.
At some point, I did not want to go back, but my parents encouraged me to continue.
How did your parents shape your life?
Both my parents are late. I lost my father in 2022 and my mother in 2023.
My parents were everything to me. My mother, especially, was my best friend. We were extremely close; she understood me completely and supported me emotionally and financially.
Losing her felt like losing a part of myself. We had plans for my future and my life, and her death broke me deeply.
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How have you been coping with their loss?
It has not been easy. Even though I stay active, healing is not something that happens quickly. I am just trying to stay strong.
What do you do for a living?
I studied Biochemistry, but society is not very accommodating to burn survivors or people living with disabilities. I have applied for jobs several times without success.
So I run an online business, mainly dropshipping luggage bags and clothes. I started on WhatsApp, then moved to Facebook and Instagram. Even after my page was taken down, I continued on WhatsApp.
I now also sell luggage bags. I do not rely on one source of income; I diversify to survive.
What has been the most difficult part emotionally?
Accepting my reality. No matter how strong you are, there are moments when it becomes overwhelming. There are things I wish I could do but cannot because of my condition.
This pain does not go away. It is something I will live with for life. I have accepted it, but there are still moments when I think about what could have been.
Have you faced discrimination?
Yes, but I try not to let it define me. I am not the type of person people can intimidate.
Discrimination exists everywhere. One experience I still remember was in university when a friend told me that some people once asked her how she could eat with me, or if she did not feel uncomfortable looking at me. Those words stay with me forever. But I have learned not to let people’s opinions control my life.
Have relationships or friendships been affected?
I do not allow myself to be in situations where I can be disrespected. I carry myself in a way that people understand my value. I have real friendships and genuine people around me. I do not talk much about my private life, but I have solid relationships.
What about love and relationships?
I believe it depends on how you present yourself. People treat you based on how you allow them to treat you. Some people come with the wrong intentions, but you must know how to identify genuine ones. My scars do not define me.
Do you think people with disabilities are supported enough in Nigeria?
No, not at all. Many are invisible in society. There are so many burn survivors and people living with disabilities who are hidden away. The system does not support them enough, and even government intervention is limited.
What should the government do?
There should be structured opportunities: jobs, empowerment, and financial support.
Many people are struggling. Not everyone has the chance to start a business like I did. Some are completely dependent on others, which is not right.
What does healing mean to you?
Healing means reaching a point where I am no longer affected by people’s comments.
I have accepted my reality. Nothing anyone says about my appearance moves me anymore.
That is healing for me, acceptance and emotional strength.
Final words to survivors?
This journey is not easy. There are days it feels overwhelming. But your scars do not define you. They are not who you are. Love yourself. Accept yourself. That is where true healing begins.
*Culled from Punch.
